Monday, August 06, 2012

The post-its are everywhere.

Ever since I was a kid who unlocked the house door after school, feeling very uppity and responsible for being entrusted the keys, and ate her solitary tiffin while staring at the TV,  my dad would leave me post its, the scheduled SMSes of the past, on the dabbas in the kitchen. ”Eat me” “Keep me in fridge” “Boil me”. These would eventually all be stuck in a patchwork pattern on the fridge.

Now my dad leaves me post-its on a pile of washed laundry after I tell him to quit bugging me to put it away. “Put me in the cupboard” my blue formal shirt impatiently proclaims. The post-it stays on my table for a month, for when the blue shirt returns to it after 2 more washes.

Dad wanders through the house at night whenever a wave of insomnia hits. He walks into my room and lowers the fan speed as I snore obliviously. I usually wake up an hour later, drenched with sweat, and undo his handiwork. The next day he tries to repeat the process but is halted by a post-it stuck over the fan regulator. "Touch this and die" it says in angry red sketch pen.

The doodhwala speaks to us through post-its. We say “No milk for the next week”; he replies with an “Ok.” “2L tomorrow” "1.5L tomorrow" “Need to discuss bill this weekend” All these accumulate on the fridge. Now we just grab the appropriate note off the fridge and paste it outside for the milk guy.

The day we discard our beautiful phones and tablets and regress to communication through post-its alone is the day we shall all find true happiness.

Wednesday, August 01, 2012

I've got baggage and it has teeth.

There is too much cool stuff on the internet. Most of them are, of course, kitty pictures.

Kittens are little fuzzy balls of soft cottony fur that can curl up on your shoulder and make your neck all warm and toasty till you get all sleepy and content and happy and then if they want, they can go for the jugular. I want a cat. Life will then be very interesting and dangerous and action filled. Yes.

I was gifted this strange replica of The Luggage for my birthday last year. I love it. I tried putting my turtle in it but The Luggage and my turtle both looked at each other with their mouths wide open for 4 seconds and then one of them tried to bite me, so that plan was abandoned. Unfortunately The Luggage's teeth are falling off one by one and I keep popping them in the box itself. There must be some punishment for making a creature eat its own teeth but at least I’m not scaring it by saying a tooth tree will grow inside it one day. I was very scared of lemon seeds as a child ok.

She has started this blog in which everyone is invited to contribute a kiddy story for her very cute 4 year old daughter. Writing stories for kids is difficult boss. I was toh wondering if such-and-such is too much for tots to digest, or whether so-and-so word is too complicated for them and I had to refrain from puns, double entendres and everything my instincts told me to do. But whee, fun. Kid's fiction means license to go completely nuts. I will try to write more.

I have registered for the half marathon in January and am sitting around lazily like I’m the Energizer bunny and I don't need no practise yo. Shame on me. I’m actually very nervous. I will now start accepting applications from people who would like to volunteer to wake me up early every morning so I bloody well start running.