Tuesday, May 08, 2012

Fatness and 30 Rock and turtles.

My life is a constant struggle between "Life is short yo, must eat everything yummy before I die" and "Damn, being thin feels so good!"

Big Loser is a really cool project. You see everyone else being all fit and showing immense amounts of willpower and you oscillate between getting inspired to exercise and eat right, and wanting to kill yourself by overconsumption of pizza.

But it's great, really. I've lost most of the post-accident weight that had made me look like a giant flesh coloured balloon and I'm back to normal fatness level. In fact, I even fulfilled my childhood dream (ok not really) of wearing a formal shirt tucked into formal pants, with a thin belt. Corp ho, bitchez!

In other news, I am madly in love with both Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin, and I think Liz Lemon is the best name in the whole wide world. I wish I had named one of my turtles Lemon. What a cute name. Only everyone would make lemon juice jokes whenever he peed and no one wants to be thinking of that. 

I have also discovered that I always either have absolutely nothing to do in life, in which case I sit on my bed all weekend and stare at my turtles yawning and go "Awww", or I have way too much to do. Too many people to meet, to many things to get done.

Equitable distribution of work and awesomeness should happen but then life would be no fun.

Monday, May 07, 2012

#55WordStory - Magic

Theme: Magic

The news report said the 11 year old had fallen out of a 2nd floor window. He was found holding onto a broomstick, and had a gold coloured plastic ball that had once contained Gems clutched in his hand.

What brightens the lives of so many kids had just ended one.

#55WordStory - Alcohol

Theme: Alcohol

Skinny legs in tight jeans and stilettos tapping a dizzying drunken code onto the platform stairs. “Hold me, I’ll fall”, a sharp onlooker deciphers.

They would later tell their children they met on shaadi.com.

Friday, May 04, 2012

#55WordStory - Blood

Theme: Blood

It trickled wetly down her neck, staining the collar of her pristine white shirt. A single drop fell through the tepid air and splashed onto the beige carpet below. She closed her eyes, exhaled deeply and let the feeling wash over her.

Summer would be unbearable without watermelon juice.

#55WordStory - Gravity

Theme: Gravity

The spaceship hurtled towards Earth through the pristine murkiness of space. It landed in a park. A lone figure emerged, scurried up to a bewildered little boy and gave him a big hug.

“Last night you focused on me out there. You sang Twinkle Twinkle and wondered what I was.”

Everyone’s existence needs some validation.

Thursday, May 03, 2012

#55WordStory- Catalyst

Theme: Catalyst

People are born ordinary, meant for ordinary things. Everyoneneeds a push towards greatness. They need inspiration, love, faith. He aimed tobe the catalyst that made them aspire to greater things.

He leaned back, looked at the thousands of devoteesprostrating before him and grinned at the cameras.

People are just born stupid.

#55WordStory- Decadence

Theme: Decadence

“Look at these decadent fools. Luxury is but temporary. Selfindulgence is foolhardy, always springing from insecurity. To show the worldwhat you have is madness; they’ll just take it all away.”

They found him weeks later, buried under all the gold he hadhoarded, swimming in what he could have spent.

RIP Scrooge McDuck.

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

#55WordStory- Night

Theme: Night

He was going away on a long expedition. She was miserable. ‘Every time I see the sunset, I will think of you’, he had said. She had hesitantly gurgled her goodbyes. Warm fuzzy thoughts and longing clouded her mind, until she googled for sunsets on the North Pole. 

#55WordStory- Space

This guy has started something very cool. He posts a theme everyday on twitter and invites everyone to write a story on it, in 55 words or less. Then he posts them here. Go read that blog. People are fascinating.

I've started submitting stories only recently. I'm posting mine here.

Theme: Space

It had been going so well. They were getting serious, contemplating living together. He'd even suggested getting a cat (maybe 2 to keep each other company), a precursor to the kids he hoped they'd have someday. And then she said it. He was petrified, insecure.

"Why're you sulking you idiot? I said I wanted spays."