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Wednesday, January 13, 2010

To cock a snook. Or three.

Recently, my hostel room got called an industrial godown. It has in it, among other things, a black plastic mask with golden trim hung on top of the mirror, with a yellow headband perched on one side and a black headband with two red horns sprouting from it on the other, the type which flashes red when you turn a knob. It's as though the mask has an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other, just as they show in all those cartoons. Do it, it will make you feel so much better. Revenge is sweet and has an excellent consistently, with a delightful aftertaste of Irish cream, which makes you crave just one more bite or seven. Thus spake the horny headband. No no, do the right thing and you will get a 5 years supply of Hershey’s Kisses, said the yellow headband in parley. Tough call, this one.

Ok, moving on. In my room, there is also my guitar in its case, and propped up casually against it, a long wooden bow. Oh and on the windowsill, two wooden arrows, prettily painted, with sharp metal tips and peahen feathers at the end, propped up nonchalantly against my beautiful retro green and red truck horn. A dozen posters, including those of George Harrison, a girl on a Vespa and a fat man drinking beer. Also, a statuette of a skinny girl in skinny jeans and a corset holding a wineglass (The girl happens to be a full grown female skeleton, by the way. Who somehow has a huge pair of knockers. Go figure.) White fluffy earmuffs hung on a nail in the wall. A beer mug with a green planet motif painted on it and the words “Don’t Panic” written under that in large friendly letters. A stuffed white and yellow cockatoo on my bed (I've named him Cockathree). A huge garish sticker of a cartoon penguin. A duck keychain stuck on my cupboard that quacks thrice when its tummy is squeezed. A bumper sticker on my cupboard that says “Warning. Chocolate can make your clothes shrink.” A reserved sign on my table, flicked from Cafe Leopold. Among other things.

Industrial godown my foot and three fourth. To borrow a phrase.

Ye olde curiosity shoppe is more like it, to borrow yet another phrase.

Sigh. Joy. Give me more crazily awesome, potentially useless junk, I'll be ecstatic. Or an empty wine bottle. I've scoured the liquor shops in the area asking for one. I'm always asked to come back. Or to buy a full bottle of wine and empty it. Sadness. More so for the liquor shop people who I annoy incessantly for the same. Ok maybe not incessantly. I think I'll go now.

23 comments:

Eccentricallyquirky said...

put up pics of the above mentioned stuff.. would love to see them.. ::D

St.Banger said...

this is where your post gets to smart for me to understand

i loved the warning message of chocolate making your clothes shrink :D

Divya said...

@EQ- Will do soon :D

@Saint whatever- Too smart? This? I was plastered when I wrote this man :P

mentalie said...

wah! i love the sound of your room. who's the tasteless person that's dissing it?

St.Banger said...

what does plastered mean divi? :P

namie said...

愛情是盲目的,但婚姻恢復了它的視力。.........................

raghu said...

wah so nice! so much description. so nice!

Divya said...

@All- I linked the photos :)

And I forgot, there's also a baby's feeding bottle (a gift from a very strange friend), a catapult hanging from the mirror, and three bottles of bubble blowing solution. Yes.

@Mentalie- Must make him read this :D

@Oh saintly one- Hush now.

@Namie- Um.

Spaz Kumari said...

you're going to have to leave college with your room on your back, just like a turtle. :)

Divya said...

@Spaz Kumari- Just in case my shoes don't match my outfit, that should be helpful :P :D

And yeah :(

Jil Jil Ramamani said...

Not industrial godown. It's a place where they store costumes and stuff for Vijay TV programmes. (Bow and arrow from Ramayana and the horns,mask etc. for kadavul paadhi mirugam paadhi).

Divi, what's "plastered" again? Please explain. :D

Divya said...

JJR- Now that description I like :P
And as a wise ass once said, "plastered" is when the world seems all "white" as in Manson's coma white.

St.Banger said...

manson who?

Divya said...

@Suk- Urk!

Anonymous said...

all superwoman stuff, sweetie...............what a collection!!!!!!!!!

Divya said...

Update- I got a 12 inch long chillies-lemon talisman thingy (you know, the thing they hang from truck bumpers), only made out of silver. Looks plain insane. And awesome :D

Jil Jil Ramamani said...

1. Superwomen stuff??? Wonderwoman does NOT carry a Douglas Adams beer mug. No, not even in my imagination.

2. Why does the reserved sign have your copper beads oh-so-artistically draped on its sides? You cant leave the mess like it is?? :P

3.I got evil eye warding off chilli and lemon in silver too yay yay yayy! :)

Divya said...

@JJR- Creative license :P

Australopithecus said...

Nice,
Buy full wine bottles then..
My room used to look like a liquor godown for quite some time, all kinds of liquor stored free of charge.

I don't have the lemon and chillies to ward off the evil eye, my face is good enough for that i say.

Virus© said...

I love your room.

s45ad446512gd said...

hello........................................

Divya said...

Update: I now also own a pipe chillum type thingy made of wood. Very hot. :D

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