Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Feeling Bookish

As I post this, I realise it's been such a long time since I've sat and properly read a book for hours on end like I just did. For someone who used to skip meals on a regular basis so as to continue reading, quite shameful. The internet always beckoned, Gtalk was my guilty pleasure and if nothing else, random browsing and tagline-reading took up most of my time, these past three years. 

For the past week I've switched on my laptop only when I absolutely had to, instead of having it on all the time, running in the background, when a faint ping would send me scurrying back to see who had buzzed me with the new all important piece of trivial gossip or which new (usually) inconsequential person had deigned to ask me "wassup" with my life. Now I am internet free, to some extent. Sure I still google everything around me. I still want to occasionally chat online with my friend in the US and keep in touch. (How else can I ensure he gets me the requisite amount of gifts when he comes back to visit?). I still depend on group emails to inform me there is a test tomorrow and I must stop emulating the great Rip Van Winkle and do something about it. But no more does the little (steadily growing) number in brackets next to the word "Inbox" freak me out. No longer do I have the urge to read taglines, or even have one for that matter. Well not as much. The 5 step program to dealing with your internet addiction continues.

Similarly, I have not been separated from my cell phone for more than 20 minutes since I was 17. Recently, I was forced to go a whole 5 hours without it. LIBERATION. I now know what those anti social philistines keep harping about. No random messages from Reliance informing me I have missed calls and how about I try their super cool money saving offer which was tailor made for me. No one to be accountable to as to where you are and when you're coming back from wherever you are. Having the ability to go out and just get lost when you want to, and stay that way till you feel like having any sort of company again. The bliss, of course, lasts till the time you're forced to get back and having to reply to those 9 messages and 8 missed calls that flooded that darn electronic box when you were away.

This is how Buddha attained enlightenment, aint it? Renouncing material pleasures and all that. And I did it without a big holy tree. I should start a religion. Everyone worships me anyway. ;) Ahem. Alright. Bye then.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Fish of the hip-hop variety

Same old routine, same old meals.
Same classes, same people in said annoying classes.

"The time has come", the Walrus said, "to talk of many things".
Talk is all well and good, but nothing's happening wise guy. What good did talking do anyway? It sure has a lot of entertainment value, to say the least (just see my previous post) but what good did it do, really, if nothing happens?

A friend of mine, when she gets into a rut, tends to destroy everything around her. I do the opposite. I go out and do new things with a vengeance. I got my hair streaked. Then I got another ear piercing. Then I got a tattoo. Now I've gotten a new haircut. But that's not enough. Something must be done. Now. Running out of things to do here people. Aarghh.

Anyhoo, vanilla people are the most interesting of the lot because they do things you would never expect them to. The wild lot that goes around acting all cool and supercilious, those are actually the most boring of the lot. They just do the same old things. Or new wild things that arise out of them doing the same old things. Namely pot. I might be a tad biased here. Or not. Will I get angry pothead trolls commenting on this post? Time shall tell.

A couple of friends just spent the last 8 hours tracing the genealogy of the pre Tudors and making an elaborate-as-hell family tree and being very earnest about it. Which is totally great. Another friend gave her impersonation of the family tree enthusiasts by pouring out a stream of words that sounded vaguely like "Oh my god we forgot the first Duke of Nottingham who was also the sixteenth duke of Worcestershire who sired the Duchess who was the sister of the illegitimate whore of Piccadilly!" Which makes it even better, as we all can see.

I wonder why boys are so uptight about homosexuality. I have never met a single guy till date who has been fully comfortable discussing the topic without fidgeting in their seat uncomfortably, proclaiming that it is odd and weird and can-we-change-the-subject-please. By homosexuality, of course, I mean the male sort. The same between girls is of course a fine, elegant and popular topic of discussion. But that apart, more boys than girls=homophobes, why? Does it stem from the simple fact of life that girls are more affectionate than boys and have no qualms going and hugging their female friends whether they are depressed/excited/nervous/overjoyed/high whereas guys prefer the stoic and ultra sophisticated high five/chest bump? Leave a comment, enlighten me. Or alternatively, vent your indignance at above paragraph.

I am currently sitting on the strawberry swing. And imagining Humpty Dumpty doing the same thing. Egg splattered all over the children's park. Oh dear. Thomas Friedman would be having the time of his life. And getting severe cholesterol. Oh dear indeed.

Stream of consciousness petering out into a tiny little pool, filled with tiny fish that protest being subjected to the stereotype of having a bad memory. Also, they are wearing little bling caps. Ooh gangsta fish. Ok then. Ta.

Monday, September 07, 2009

I get high with a little help from my friends.

Things friends say when high on life or other contraband substances:

1. Due to unforeseen teeth, I could not bellydance.

2. We should make a movie about our lives in hostel. It shall be funny, nonsensical, touching, sweet and reflect every girls trauma with their real selves and what they think of feminism and life. It will be very well accepted everywhere. It will be a whatever.

3. The end of the world will come when cymbals clang and there shall be a "Pshhffgtgttt" sound as though the Earth is being sucked into a shower drain and everyone will think happy thoughts. So essentially everyone will die happy.

4. (In response to above theory) You already made the sound! Now you've ruined the end of the world for me!

5. (In response to above response) So the most important part of the end of the world for you is the suspense, is it?

6. Cars are hot. Bikes are not too bad themselves. Bikes are like anorexic cars.

7. The Scream is like a zoozoo finding out it hasn't taken its books to class.

8. We suck like imported vacuum cleaners. Vacuum cleaners can atleast claim it is their job.

9. I would be honoured if I were asked to star in an Usbekistani porn movie.

10. I think I shall lie down and give up on this world. But first, I shall make some Tang.

11. Every man is an island, Huxley said, as also Simon and Garf uncle. So if people try to invade your island with their silly criticism, you put on your big girl hula skirt and sink their boats. By throwing half-coconuts at them. Which will be easy to get because that's what their bras are made of.

Props to Indiegurl, Ramsub, Revelsign and Hoverer. Now just try and guess who said what. :D