Sunday, April 19, 2009

Where knowledge is wealth.

5K is one who spouts more useless knowledge than anyone I have ever known. Fondly called arbit gyaan, it comes at any given time, especially when you least expect it. While sleeping in class one shall be woken up to be told the different types of whiskey and how much alcohol exactly is in each one of them and how each one is made. While trying not to spill dal on oneself in the crowded mess, one shall be treated to the mesmerising details of the specifications of super-complex razors. When moaning over the huge syllabus of an impending test, one is cheered up by having recited to them details of all the different dialects of Punjabi. Is it any wonder then that he is fondly called the "back of a Navneet notebook" (Just by me actually. It never caught on. Wonder why.)

The other day, when I was being treated to a random discourse on the specifications of ASCII values of keyboards for encryption, I was overcome with admiration for and gratitude for all the knowledge I had gained simply by his companionship. For the next two minutes, he couldn't get a word in between what I was saying (rare, for this one). My monologue went something like this:

"I art eternally grateful to thee for all the knowledge conferred upon me, an undeserving soul who hast been blessed with thy words. Thou art the god of arbit gyaan and thou must be honoured. A shrine shall be erected in thy name and followers shall flock from ever corner to bathe in the holy presence that it shalt exude. The aura of knowledge that shalt pervade the shrine shalt be soaked up by one and all and all thine followers shalt bring other people, to make them believe. We shalt go forth and propagate the wonder that is thy arbit gyaan and spread thy word far and wide. Every week an offering of chicken tikka shalt be made to your shrine which thou shalt grace and bless so that thy followers may eat and prosper."

Needless to say, he was amused. And not happy that he wouldn't a weekly dose of free chicken tikka at his own shrine.

Boys. Sheesh. Never satisfied.

And yes, Navneet's tagline IS "Where knowledge is wealth."


swordfishh said...

Chicken Tikka after ur dead...
Some great person (me) rightly said--

All good things happen after you are dead!!

another brick in the wall said...

he does hover over insanity.. or does he? :P

hehehe.. awesome lines :D

the hoverer said...

thankfully for me the whole concept of shrines and devotional food giving is that the person that the shrine is that the food is offered to the deity and the deity eats the food what is given to the followers are the left overs which is considered to be holy only bcos the deity has eaten it so rest assured this arbit gyan guy will get his weekly dosage of chicken tikka :D

indiegurl said...

i am speechless. but thats ok cos you've clearly made up for it. :D

word verification - maggi :D

Ghost Rider said...

Encyclopedia! We used to have one such person too in the college. But we never really paid much heed to what he said. He was more of a person trying to solve the unheard mysteries of this universe, though it was fun listening to his stories!

DPhatsez said...

'Arbit' rocks. Perceived as wierd by the respected blog author, he has ended up securing weekly chicken tikka quota for life.

What next on the way to enlightenment, arbit swami ji?

:) My first time here so HI!

Hakuna Matata said...

"back of navneet notebook" hehee hehehe :D

sarcasmatron said...

hehe.. ive known ppl exactly like that, heck ive been guilty of Navneethood. In "The tipping point", Malcolm Gladwell calls these people "Mavens". They Share knowlegde for no apparent visible profit to themselves, unless of course they want to get into someone elses pants (just to clear it up, that part wasnt Malcolm Gladwell).

Check out my blog.. http://rantophiliac.blogspot.com