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Thursday, April 02, 2009

Platform 9 and three-quarters of an emotional breakdown.

It takes a while coming and it seems like eternity till it does. Just like the train that you need to board, which has halted at a signal just out of reach of the platform. Annoyingly close yet so far. That impatience builds up inside of you and then when it finally chugs slowly to you, you exhale gratefully and clamber on.

I refer to a thought, a mindset that had to come sometime, which you just wished would hurry up. The notion that people, or a person, does not matter. That you would be a whole lot better off without them in your life. That you would be a better person without them holding you back. Without them triggering neuroses you never knew you had. Never knew you could have. Without making you blame yourself for simply everything that was not flowers-and-sunshine that happened, to yourself or to them. Without making you seem, even to yourself, to be mildly masochistic because of your tendency to go and hurt yourself again and again and again, and happily so (?) at that. Without them picking away at your fears and threatening to expose the wound beneath the scab. Without making you constantly fear that you are doing something wrong which will ruin everything while you don't even fully know that there remained nothing to ruin. Without making you feel like your own worst enemy.

People are impermanent. They come, they go away. They do not matter. Especially if they make you feel like shit. In which case, they matter less.

All aboard.

13 comments:

indiegurl said...

i would clap, but in my hand is a chocolate chip cookie. so i can't. :D

but seriously - hear, hear.

another brick in the wall said...

u know my thoughts on this :)

ppl suck... i mean seriously.. everyone's finally selfish.. no one's worth our life, our time

look at indiegurl, she sets a perfect example.. she doesn't even share the choc chip, forget placing it in a dish for a second to applaud at your "excellency" :P :P :P

raghu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
raghu said...

it makes us smarter, knowing the neuroses you have, and learning how to dislike it and there is no way of knowing without exploring.

i deleted the last comment cos if the number of typos.

Swayam said...

yes people come and go... and leave their imprints too... and it is so on you to hold on to the pain or let go.. at the end of the day everything depends on you...

Hakuna Matata said...

wow. Spot on. I agree.

@another brick - *icy glare*. Its C.H.O.C.O.L.A.T.E. What do u expect? :O

Ghost Rider said...

Interesting thoughts there. You should probably take the last quarter of emotions and store it safe so that it does not break! ;-) he he.

Kepp the faith lady. World is not that bad a place. People do tend to be wicked at times, but having one person who is nice compensates for a million others who have been selfish and wicked.

raghu said...

haha evryone is giving you so much gyaan as if you dint already know. haha. hope you are feeling better.

Divya said...

@Indiegurl- :P

@Brick- Chocolate!! Above all human relationships is the bond between a girl and her chocolate!

@Raghu- Well if the neuroses are caused by someone then its not good na.. and yes thank you... muah :)

@Swayam- well true but convincing yourself of that takes an annoying amount of time :)

@Hakuna- :P

@Ghost Rider- Oh i might be all bent out of shape right about now but at the end of the day im unbreakable so worry not ;) Faith creeping back. Or rather, "un-faith" creeping out. eventually...

another brick in the wall said...

oh... so you mean sex:guy::chocolate:girl

viswasundar said...

kill all the mofos .. kill em slowly

Anonymous said...

aboard and flying. perfecto.

Soumya said...
This comment has been removed by the author.