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Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Down in a hole. Feeling so small.

Uneasiness, restlessness, aversion and confusion, all rolled into one.

Disliking yourself is the worst, most uncomfortable feeling one can ever experience.

Almost.

13 comments:

another brick in the wall said...

amen

AB said...

And why is that girl?

Divya said...

Because... If you dislike yourself, it's a little hard to change ain't it? It is you after all... I dunno.. it's hard to explain... You never gone through that?

W.o.R.d.S.M.i.t.H. said...

It's 'OK' to go through that... a time good enough to 'experience' the dislike, and then physically tell yourself to 'wake up' and shake that off and walk into the 'like' mode... because you know you've been there in the 'like' mode too and "that's better than "this"...

It's a choice. To make it even 'better' in 'dislike' mode, you have the choice to get all the sad albums of Jagjit Singh (or who ever that singer you like) and go deep into the 'dislike-uneasy-restless-averse-confused' mode, or the choice to step out of it and look and laugh at yourself and walk out for a window-shopping... or whatever that you remember as done before this that made you happy.

It's a choice... and you know already you can choose to make that choice, now.

And what are you waiting for before you begin to think that you ALSO like the YOU whom your friends and parents and the others like?

(I just came across this blog...and I know I am an intruder!!)

AB said...

Well have I gone through that? I have gone through moments of self despair yes.

By the way, now that you know who I am, pray tell me yours! I am such a GOOF. There's proof:( So have we met?

AB said...

Oh I did dislike myself some time back. I know I should have maintained a veneer of calm and thoughtfulness even when I was driven to being mean and to lose my nerves, but I just cannot hold back emotions at times. So yes, I did.

Divya said...

@Wordsmith- Well said actually.. and about the choice... yes and no in a way... and intruders most welcome :)

@AB- Tell you my what? :S Oh we've never met... the email address just dissolved the anonymity there :P
Veneer of calm and whaaa??? Hey its ok to go nuts at such times ya... if u cant act demented when ur upset, when else will u get the opportunity? :D

raghu said...

hope this ones not personal :)

AB said...

Veneer of calm whacked you to out is it:D (in a whisper) sometimes I like to use big or funny words. It just makes me feel happy.

Divya said...

@Raghu- Kinda but we all have our moments don't we :)

@AB- Oh I meant who's talking of calm and all that jazz at times like this? Go nuts I say. :D
Oh and copy that for the big words. If no one understands them , so much the better. hehe

Divita said...

my my!! now i have no worries, maybe there is something wrong with the season only... i completely empathize with you, i to am in the 'self-disparage' mode these days... :)

Bedazzled said...

You have a beautiful way with words..I find your blogs eerily honest.Keep rolling girl

nikhil said...

Read this today, somewhere:
Whatever I have learnt from life can be summarized in 3 words.
"It goes on."

Cheerup :)