Monday, May 12, 2008

Puppy Thoughts

It happened when I was 16. Or maybe I was 17. This is the age that I began thinking.

What I mean by that is, only at that time did I actually start thinking. All my major problems in life started then. All my phobias developed then. All my idealogies were formed then. All my major opinions were formed then. Only then did I start getting wayy depressed and exhausted by the sheer quantity that I thought. Only then did it seem a relief to take a break from thinking.

I sometimes seriously wonder, what was I like before that time? How did I even survive? What on earth was I thinking, or not thinking? Right now it seems like I was this mould of a person that needed to be filled out and this happened at 16(17?). How people say that love among the youth is puppy love, I can say my thoughts earlier were similar, meaningless and playing almost no part in the person I became or the beliefs and morals I now hold. Maybe it was better then actually, since I so often tire myself out with all the thought.

Is it just me or is everyone as crazy as I appear in this post?


another brick in the wall said...

I get what you are saying here.. for once we differ :P.. this started happening to me in 7th grade.. it felt as if the entire world was changing then and i started getting lost from those days on.. the thought process then was very self-pitying and really crazy if you ask me now.. many reasons for the same which are too long for mentioning here (yeah! since when did i start considering length of my comments on a comment page :P).. hehe.. well.. but then if i look at it.. then i may well say that the though process changed in parts.. 7th to 12th was one era for me.. that will be from the age of the age of 11/12 to 16/17 i guess.. then again for next 3 years it was pretty different life.. and then next 2 years.. there was a drastic change and now again after those after those 2 years and till date.. it has been a totally radical thought process if i can say.. well thats how we learn i guess.. in parts.. changing our rights and wrong everyday.. every moment.. every single moment moulds us i believe.. sometimes u learn fast.. sometimes u play blind.. sometimes u are eager to grasp things more than what exists cause u just need a reason to live.. i can't explain this.. but it's more to do with finding direction

crazy is so subjective na div.. we all are crazy.. cz we all are vibrant throught our lives.. oly in movies u see ppl who are stable.. it can't exist.. every moment changes us and the change is so subtle that we fail to realize it.. the person next to us never even knows.. probably cz even the person next to us is changing.. and we all are lost in our own thoughts.. in our own moments.. adapting ourselves to the new us.. that we fail to realize this subtleness..

today..when we don't agree to our past theories or the idealogies that we once believed in.. then those thoughts become crazy and today's beliefs are perfect.. but we all know.. tomorrow even they will be labelled crazy :)

Divya said...

My world dint start changing as such... it was just like "poof! hey when did i start thinking all this??" types... the eras thing is different... i had an era in school, i was kind of different in junior college, but the REAL changes started happening only after this puppy phase or whatever passed. tht was i was different when it started, i was different when i just went to college and im different now.. that keeps happening so fast its startling... but its different in a more informed way perhaps, a more enlightened way... before i guess i was just walking in the dark.. sort of doing what im told, having other ppls beliefs. like i said the mould was filled in later.
what i find very wierd is tht it happened so late :S
better late than never huh :P

"every moment changes us and the change is so subtle that we fail to realize it.. the person next to us never even knows.. probably cz even the person next to us is changing"-- nice ya.. deep.. write a post on this urself.. i predict it will be awesome :)

another brick in the wall said...

see that happens when it strikes you that u have changed from yesterday.. the transition is slow.. it can't be sudden.. the realization is sudden... it then hits you that your morals have suddenly changed.. now u are just aware that change is happening and so it doesn't probably hit you.. but again few years down the line... i'm sure you'll wake up as a different divya :)

hehe... thank u thank u.. will think on it more before i can actually make a post outta it :P

raghu said...

true :)