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Monday, October 15, 2007

Nothing much... What's up with you?

When have work you don’t want to do, when you’re too busy to have fun, when you’re somehow free and find that everyone else you want to be with is busy, when you do have fun despite the work and then feel guilty and rushed, you feel sick of it all. College gets to you; the hustle, the work, the seriousness of it all, the constant reminder that everything you do, every test and every outing, will affect your future and make you feel a sense of foreboding, this place definitely gets to you. When you’re forced to be nice to people you don’t like, when people you do like irritate you, when you see too much of people that it makes you just want to take a break from your very existence… Where do you go? To whom do you turn? Three and a half more years to spend here just seems like an eternity to spend in this place following this very same routine, but then again you don’t want to fast forward to when you have to be even more responsible and have a job, you don’t want to rewind to before you came to college because that seems like a whole past life. When you feel like doing nothing but sleep and be by yourself but even that’s not fun anymore, you just sigh and wonder what on earth is happening to you…. What do you do?

Me? I just want a world that has a comfortable bed and air conditioning. And unlimited chocolates and pizzas. And a huge library. No one would make you work, no one would impose their company on you, and no one would make you feel like you’re imposing your company on them, people you love wouldn’t get on your nerves, and you wouldn’t get on theirs, and you could just get away from it all. FROM IT ALL! And that is what's up. How about you?

6 comments:

another brick in the wall said...

for the part one:

as i keep on saying and never myself following, man finds a way to stay dissatisfied somehow. no matter what you give him, he'll look at the things he's deprived of; not that he won't look at the things he has, but he cannot stay satisfied with his possessions for long. he'll strive for more. if i can explain the drift here it's again about freedom that i keep on quoting time and again. it's freedom from this binding. freedom from these feelings, this burden we carry, the responsibilities, the thoughts, the insatiability, the expectations everything. but i'm trying to convince myself that freedom always exists, it's everywhere, this longing satisfaction you are craving about is within you; infact you very well know that if you stay satisfied you are going to be at peace (not happy, but at peace cause happiness is again an emotion and emotion will never satisfy you). i say i want to run away somewhere to find peace when i know that peace lies within; it is only that i never realize it, never accept it maybe; ignore it.

in the end too you say chocolates and pizzas will satiate you. think again! one day you will want to run away from them as again these are the things you love. you say we should look for momentary satisfaction as that will help us stay happy for the moment, well as easy as it sounds, this happiness cannot stay long as it is well, "momentary". peace of mind is everlasting and feeling content is peace of mind, it is what i call freedom. the day you are content, the day you stop longing for things, that day you've achieved all you're ever to achieve and then the so-called progress will be stunted as there will be nowhere to go as there would be nothing more left to conquer.

alright, some vodka please :P

Divya said...

Oh my... Suk.. All i mean when i say i want pizzas and chocolates is tht i want a place where i can just escape this place im in.. as of now it would seem a utopian place.. and this might seem like copying you (:P) but i reely do jus wanna escape from something.. im not sure what...

if u wanna talk that way... ur right... too much of my beloved chocolates and pizzas will make me sick of them im sure... cos its true that the things that u love are cherished because of their momentary availability...

wow suk... "happiness is again an emotion and emotion will never satisfy you".. profound...

and lastly... about my utopian world... its what i may seem to want but you never know.. to quote Anne Frank, i may someday be left alone more often than i like!

another brick in the wall said...

loneliness is a perception div. c'mon i'm with million people over here and yet am all alone. actually we are always alone but we never realize it. we feel we are with people but the fact remains that we are by ourselves just surrounded by people we agree with or otherwise. it is only when we decide to share ourselves with our neighbour that we are trying to be with the person but once that moment is passed we are again by ourselves. hadn't it been for this loneliness we wouldn't have had the independence to think. it is only cause of this freedom that we've been granted so easily (which really goes unnoticed most of the times) that we can be with someone and still be with ourselves and hence be alone. well, finally i realized after this long trip that i don't have to be away from someone physically to be away from him/her. i can be with him/her and still be away. loneliness is by choice. and it always prevails. bend your vision and you'll realize it.

Divya said...

Suk... thats really deep, but u see, im not lonely... its just that im very irritable and irritated right now.. most probably its not anyones fault but my own and that of my messed up head, but it's actually just me...

another brick in the wall said...

alright, let me try to clear your head then. first of all let go off all the responsibility you carry, the burden you carry, that which is pulling you down, just leave it, there's no need to let anything trouble you. yes there are things to do and yes there are times when one feels wrong, guilty etc. but if thinking over the same isn't solving the problem in anyway then there's just no need to ponder over those things. yes i preach a lot and practice less or none of it if you must say, but lets see the world this way; step out of yourself a bit and look at your life, you'll find a million things that are yet to be done, a million things that are yet to be taken care of but everything gets ignored and you tend to lose focus messing up further, not only the magnified problem, but also the trifle unnoticed issues.

some friend told me prioritize, focus; finally you are important and looking at this from a different perspective i really accepted that. finally div as i keep saying, nothing's worth it; yeah i still kill myself over lot of matters but in the end i realize it wasn't worth it, it isn't a pessimistic approach but a practical one. the people who really want you to be with them won't let nothing complicate the situation; as they know it will mess both their and your life. the ones who complicate your life just aren't your people. but if u still feel responsible for a wrong, the best way to get rid of the guilt is to speak it out and simplify matters in your head. finally everything is as complicated as we make of it. just un-complicate it and life will be simple again. hope it helps :)

raghu said...

people suck..belive me..love things..they are maha loyal.. and love dogs.. they are maha loving and they respect you..bliss.. aint it?