Friday, March 31, 2006

Flighty feathery pests!

Pigeons are, without any doubt, the dumbest creatures on the planet. I’m talking utterly brainless. Supremely stupid. They can’t even emit proper sounds! Gulping noises which sounds like chirps lost somewhere in their throat, bobbing unsteadily on their bodies, appearing vaguely drunk.. Is it so hard to understand, mi casa is NOT su casa!? Whenever the window is even slightly open, there they come, flying in like they own the place. Especially two of them- I even recognize them now- one white and grey one, partial albino type, along with its normal grey boyfriend or whatever!! They own the place man! Imagine my disgust when I leave the room for a minute and return to find these two perched on my bed and walking around on it, daring me to object… That’s once. Once I walk in to see this happy couple emerging from beneath my dresser, walking around curiously like prospective buyers looking around a house. Another time I enter to see one with its head stuck between the decorative bars. On seeing me, it starts fluttering to get loose, only to get its head entangled even more… it looked in danger of having its neck wrung when it somehow freed itself and flew away- mercifully out the window. Compare this with another gentle-bird, if you will, which flew in and perched itself six inches away from the open window.. On me saying ‘Shoo’, it gets a start and flies everywhere except out the window which is at wing’s length from it.. all around the bedroom, under my bed.... you can imagine why I’m being so harsh! This happened a couple of times, until I took my friend’s advice, and stopped shooing them away since that apparently seemed to agitate them. So next time I saw one in my house, I started talking to it. “Nice pigeon, sweet pigeon.. won’t you please get outta my house, you irritating thing?!” Worked like a charm!! Insulting as it may sound, they couldn’t wait to fly out on hearing me!! Hahahahaha!! They soon started staying away too! As an added precaution, I religiously kept my window shut unless I was in the room.. Come on, I wanted a nice clean mess-free, feather-free room!! I suffered through suffocating times till I deemed it safe to throw my windows open. Now problem solved.. And any time a pigeon gets too close; it sees the warning glint in my eye and hastily soars away… Yippee!! Mission accomplished.


raghu said...

they are highly fascinating.. and the mothers are the most beautiful things on earth.

Divya said...

fascinating how stupid they can be...!!

the mothers are just as dumb, maybe dumber.. i saw one whcih sat on her chick though it had hatched and fly away cos its beak apparently poked her ass!!

res ipsa loquitor...

Deepak Gopalakrishnan said...

Seriously, this is the funniest thing I've read in a while :-D

Pigeon post FTW!