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Friday, March 31, 2006

Flighty feathery pests!

Pigeons are, without any doubt, the dumbest creatures on the planet. I’m talking utterly brainless. Supremely stupid. They can’t even emit proper sounds! Gulping noises which sounds like chirps lost somewhere in their throat, bobbing unsteadily on their bodies, appearing vaguely drunk.. Is it so hard to understand, mi casa is NOT su casa!? Whenever the window is even slightly open, there they come, flying in like they own the place. Especially two of them- I even recognize them now- one white and grey one, partial albino type, along with its normal grey boyfriend or whatever!! They own the place man! Imagine my disgust when I leave the room for a minute and return to find these two perched on my bed and walking around on it, daring me to object… That’s once. Once I walk in to see this happy couple emerging from beneath my dresser, walking around curiously like prospective buyers looking around a house. Another time I enter to see one with its head stuck between the decorative bars. On seeing me, it starts fluttering to get loose, only to get its head entangled even more… it looked in danger of having its neck wrung when it somehow freed itself and flew away- mercifully out the window. Compare this with another gentle-bird, if you will, which flew in and perched itself six inches away from the open window.. On me saying ‘Shoo’, it gets a start and flies everywhere except out the window which is at wing’s length from it.. all around the bedroom, under my bed.... you can imagine why I’m being so harsh! This happened a couple of times, until I took my friend’s advice, and stopped shooing them away since that apparently seemed to agitate them. So next time I saw one in my house, I started talking to it. “Nice pigeon, sweet pigeon.. won’t you please get outta my house, you irritating thing?!” Worked like a charm!! Insulting as it may sound, they couldn’t wait to fly out on hearing me!! Hahahahaha!! They soon started staying away too! As an added precaution, I religiously kept my window shut unless I was in the room.. Come on, I wanted a nice clean mess-free, feather-free room!! I suffered through suffocating times till I deemed it safe to throw my windows open. Now problem solved.. And any time a pigeon gets too close; it sees the warning glint in my eye and hastily soars away… Yippee!! Mission accomplished.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Go Churchill!

Hahahahaha just heard this one- Churchill, who was known to be of extremely vituperative and biting temperment, was once arguing in parliament when one opposition member had had enough and said, “Sir, if you were my husband, I would mix poison in your coffee!”. Churchill’s response- “Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it!”. Oh kudos!!

Am I...?

Sometimes, when I least expect it, I get this strange thought.... and when I do I actually have to stop what im doing and ponder it over. It strikes me- I'm here. I'm alive. I'm actually on this earth along with millions of people like myself, going about life's activities. Or am I? Is this even real? Is this maybe the manifestation of someone's dream or imagination? Maybe any minute now that person will wake up and everything we know will vanish in a puff of logic... Which seems pretty much like me saying- What is real and what's not? Then I regain my senses and go about doing whatever it was I stopped, till the next time this notion comes floating back in my head to perturb me again for a while... this... who knows, maybe the reality......?

Monday, March 27, 2006

Lure of the moon

"There is something haunting in the light of the moon; it has all the dispassionateness of a disembodied soul, and something of its inconcievable mystery"-- Joseph Conrad, Lord Jim.