Because, you see, a video does not want to be played. But that’s what it’s made for, you might argue. But how can you tell? Maybe we humans were made for being snowboards for hyper intelligent polar bears but as a twist of fate, ended up here. Just like that, maybe videos were made to lead quiet sheltered lives. Only, they have been cruelly exploited to provide entertainment to millions. “Naach Basanti!” is the message sent to a video when you hit the play button. And if the video is actually a Sholay clip, so much more the shame of the poor thing.
When the media library is opened... Now that is their worst nightmare. That is when they quake in their little bitrate boots. Those terse moments as the mouse cursor flits from one file to the next... Oh how they shudder and squeak until one unfortunate soul is picked. Those crickets you think you hear as you sit in your lonely room and watch FRIENDS for the umpteenth time? Those are the squeaking videos, yeah they are.
You've gotta feel sorry for those poor Pilot episodes. Seen by everyone, always the first to be humiliated in front of his brothers.
It's a pet theory of mine that if all this were true, Two and a Half men was made just to give the poor videos a break. To be such a terrible show that no one would want to watch any of the episodes.
What a flop that plan turned out to be.
Maybe we humans do deserve to be snowboards. Let's educate those polar bears